It’s been almost a month since I posted here. It feels like longer than that. I didn’t really mean to take time off, it wasn’t a conscious decision or choice, but I guess there were reasons. Here are some of them:

• Life got in the way. I could probably get away with just this one point because everything else does fall under this umbrella but as a single point, I’ll just say a lot of other shit came up that I needed to do.
• After the bulk of the site redesign was finished (more about that in another post) I was kind of tired of it. Developing the theme and the custom blocks and all the things I wanted to feature in this new version of Sensory Dispensary took a lot of time and energy. I didn’t mean for it to, but the deadline of switching before my plan renewed was fixed so I got as much as I could possibly get done by that date, and then I tried to finish the rest. But all the work on the design and new post ideas and recategorizing made the thought of actually blogging more than I could do. I love the changes and I am now excited to get back to it, but I guess I needed a break.
• More family shit to deal with. I don’t feel like getting in to much detail right yet (I am sure I will eventually) but as of right now I am completely cut off from all of my immediate family including my mother. I can no longer deal with the disappointment, gaslighting, scapegoating, blame and just plain failure of them to treat me humanely and respectfully, to honor my boundaries, and to just be decent people. They aren’t capable of any of those things so I am finished. I might change my name.
• I continue to look for a job every day, and to try to get freelance consulting work if I can. Apparently I can do neither of those things successfully, but I keep trying because I have no other choice.
• Our change of insurance plan effective Jan 1 has been a nightmare of billing issues, lost referrals, phone calls, endless transfers, hangups and disconnects, wrong people, closed offices, wrong numbers, and money out of my pocket to pay bills I shouldn’t owe while I try to convince Blue Cross of that fact. I spend hours each week trying to manage this.
• My health continues to be a source of frustration and concern. I am now seeing a Hepatologist because of some liver scarring. I need to have an elastography MRI but I can’t schedule it because Blue Cross denied my claim for my initial appointment because they don’t have a referral on file. I can’t risk them denying a claim for an MRI so that needs to be on hold until I get the billing issues resolved. It’s not important though, it’s just my liver…
• and more… – the universal last thing on a list which encompasses all the shit that could and should be listed but I either can’t remember what it is right now or I don’t feel like writing about it. There is indeed more. This is where more lives. More is a lot!

This is the first I have logged in or even looked at the site in weeks. I know both of you that read what I post here have probably not even noticed I was gone, but I was, now I am back.