The Sensory Dispensary

Now that I am done pretending to be who I thought I needed to be, it’s time to start being who I really am.

I’m not sure who that is.

So much of me was created by my circumstance and the true me is sort of buried among all the stuff I created to survive, but he’s in here somewhere, I just need to dig through it all to find him.

I think this one from Paul Weller says it nicely.

I’m gonna clear out my head
I’m gonna get myself straight
I know it’s never too late
To make a brand new start

I’m gonna kick down the door
I’m gonna get myself in
I’m gonna fix up the yard
And not fall back again

I’m gonna CLEAN up my earth
And build a heaven ON the ground
Not something distant or unfound
But something real to me
But something real to me

All that I can I can be
All that I am I CAN see
All that is mine is in my hands
So to myself I call

There’s somewhere else I should be
There’s someone else I CAN see
There’s something more I can find
IT’S ONLY UP TO ME

I’m gonna clean up my earth
And build a heaven ON the ground
Not something distant on a cloud
But something real to me
But something real to me

I’m gonna clear out my head
I’m gonna get myself straight
I KNOW it’s never too late
To make a brand new start
To make a brand new start
To make a brand new start